“Should” has motivated many a decision I have made. And that “should” has often been tied to another — to please, to meet expectations, to keep peace, to impress. And I see those “shoulds” come out in the kiddos — they act in a certain way because they’ll get what they want, because a sibling did it one way so they should to, adults will fawn, I’ll be accepted, the reaction of others felt good. But sometimes when they make decisions in this way, they have to fight a little piece in them that wants to do otherwise. And that little bit of who they are, that twinge of instinct that led them gets stuffed down. And they learn to do this and over time it compounds. May we together figure out how to keep our little souls, our instincts, our core in tact… operating less strictly by “shoulds” and winning the approval of others, but more to live out that which is within us needing to get out. May we know more deeply what we care about (not necessarily should care about) and learn to use that to fuel us.
One thought on “Taking It In: Naming the “Shoulds””
I absolutely agree with all you have written above, Molly. Living by the “shoulds” never brings us true happiness. Hooray for you figuring this out so early in life and modeling it for your children.