For the past two weeks, the big hills have demanded more of all of six of us. What an experience to have as a family. We have all looked downhill and needed some courage, most days of the week.
For me: I want to point my skis downhill. Yet I recognize my tendency to face an enormous hill by going back and forth, almost perpendicular to the slope. The steeper the hill, the more control I feel, by enhancing the tension and the conflict with gravity.
Such are the big devastating messes in our lives. They demand more of a fight of us. And in resisting, in fighting, in creating conflict with the mess, pushing back, somehow our path feels clearer and controlled.
When I go slow, when the hill is small, I seem to waver more, over-thinking, over-analyzing, prone to misstep. But when the hills are steep, they demand more of me. My head and my body are present. I will rise to the challenge.
I am now in tune with the precise moments of my hesitation, the times I can’t let go and point my skis downhill, parallel with the steep slope. I see my tendency towards the perpendicular, towards the resistance. I feel safe, I feel control. My brain tells me I’ll lose control. My brain tells me I won’t be able to regain the feeling of safety and comfort that I have in that split second. I won’t come back to this comfortable pace. Every once and a while, I’d point those suckers downhill, only to pull back, slicing at an angle to slow things back down. I am skiing, but am I learning to point my skis downhill?
2 thoughts on “Downhill Skiing Musings”
The skiing videos are great. It appears that everyone is comfortable on skis. Seeing Sam tethered to Joe is classic. And now, the Mom writes of slaloming down the steep slopes and likens it to life. Well expressed! I look forward to every post.